We turn back.

The plank Dori fell off of. 

Jason made the rounds to each team member once Dori's wounds had been dressed. He asked how I was doing and seemed to be listening more to the way I answered than what I said. Rightly so. A good Guide knows how to read people and relies on that read to form a workable judgement. "I'm concerned about Dori" I said. I told him I had seen her go over and recounted everything I could remember about it. This was moot, of course, but Jason paid attention and let me tell my story. Then he asked again how I was doing. "A little shook up, I guess. But I knew this sort of thing was part of the deal when I signed up." "OK," he responded and clenched my shoulder for a moment before moving on.

There had been a point when everything was coming unglued, when we couldn't see Dori but knew she was in the river. In that moment Dan had handed me his camera and the satellite phone. We locked eyes and I knew he was going to jump into the river. What I saw in his face was resignation. It was a powerful moment. When Dan checked in with me after Jason I handed the camera and sat phone back to him. As  I did I felt us both revisit the circumstances under which they had come into my possession. There was relief. 

Jason called an impromptu team meeting as we stood gathered on the rock. He explained that the expedition would be turning back. As Dori had fallen from a height three times her own, this was considered a critical fall and her head injury held the potential to develop into a much worse condition. He could accompany Dori back to safety, but if she worsened and could not carry herself out of the jungle he would not be able to do it alone. In fact it would take the considerable efforts of everyone on the team if we should need to carry Dori back over the brutal terrain we had already trekked in on. Dori argued that she would surrender her own expedition but was not willing to cost everyone else their own opportunity to climb. "It's not your call," Jason responded. 

All parties agreed that our first priority was getting Dori to safety. We shouldered our packs and began retracing our path back to Sunama. With the aid of lingering adrenaline, the trek back seemed easier than the trip in had been. We arrived in Sunama by early evening. Dori's dressing was changed. We all ate something. I can't recall what. At that point I was exhausted and just wanted to lay down. Dori developed a headache as she settled in for the night, but no other symptoms. The team was wiped out. It had been a very bad day. Yet it could have been so much worse. I lingered on this thought and felt grateful. Sleep.